The first onset of puberty hit me rather awkwardly at age 9. I was out in the backyard sandbox innocently playing with my Star Wars figures, more specifically Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia, when ‘it’ struck. They were having some sort of domestic conversation about where the coffee table was going in the newly constructed sand-loft that I built for them, when I was zapped by some sort of cosmic command ray. Out of nowhere I stood up in an almost trance-like state and thought ‘I need to go do, or find, something right now. this second. asap…but I’m not exactly sure what’.
So aimlessly I started wandering around the house in a semi-frantic state, on a mission to find out exactly what this ‘it’ was. I opened and closed kitchen cabinets, hunted behind sofa pillows, flipped madly through TV channels, rifled through my parents garage, then back again to the kitchen to open all the cereal boxes, and in general upending the whole house like a bad cop show in the mad quest to find out, well, whatever it was I ‘needed’ to do.
After about two hours, and no closer to having an answer, the internal frenzy managed to quiet down on it’s own and I went back to doing my usual Saturday afternoon frivolities. The whole episode eliciting nothing more than a quickly forgotten ‘What the hell was THAT all about?’
It wouldn’t strike again until a year later when I was at summer camp. Emanating from the pottery shed, from one of the instructor’s boom boxes was suggestive 80s classic Sex (I’m A…) by Berlin. And boy did the mysterious libidinal latency ray strike back again with a vengeance. As I sat there listening to the lyrics, staring out at all the well intentioned, but hopelessly malformed ashtrays, coffee mugs and vases bound for parental nik-nak shelves, the lascivious synth-pop tune left little room for further speculation. I now knew exactly what ‘it’ was. Goodbye Star Wars, hello hair mousse and the next 6 years of fruitlessly trying to convince cute record store girls with dyed bangs and too many earrings to go out with me.
So firing up that libidinal gamma ray today is Dan the Automator side project Lovage and Peaches, in her own heavy syrup.